“Don’t confuse me with the info! ” “I need to find out this from my truthfulness only! ” Sound familiar?
Have you noticed how arguments escalate with emotional abusers? They tell you that something is bothering them with no uncertain terms, although often fail to fill you in on what the hell it is. So in this article you are knowing fully everything that they feel, yet you will remain in the dark as to why.
To get this message by way of you, the emotional abuser will pile on another tier of attack aimed to avoid you in your tracks. It might just sound like this… “Well, what a logical position, BUT…
You are aware of a “but” is approaching and with it is the following emotional assault.
It may start with, “That’s the problem with you… That you’re too intense, too real, too late with this explanation, too whatever to make sure you compel me to take most people in and actually hear which are something to say… worthy of my own attention, much less my consideration. ” Get the picture?
Then, if you get lucky, they may expand on their issue with you feel this sigh of relief, because right now you have something you can overcome or at least address. Therefore, you seek to share ones perspective, your point of view. And wham, you’re cut off by means of, Don’t confuse me with the facts. My mind comprises.
Most of the mess around “don’t confuse me with the facts” is nothing more than an effort to re-establish an unequal distribution of electricity in the relationship. The sentimental assault or blow to your character is their attempt to tilt the machine, because in that moment they are simply tasting their own vulnerability.
The price you pay is verbal psychological and mental abuse. You know the dialogue is over, so you pull this back and lick all the wounds inspired by the developmental abuse dished out to hold you in your place. If you are following me in this description of this interaction, then you likely have experienced verbal emotional exploitation. It is both subtle and significant. It leaves you emotionally off base, usually even before you know what happened.
If this is the pattern in interaction with your intimate spouse, take a hard and fast look at the mechanics of abusive relationships. The better you grasp those dynamics, the easier it will be for you to break the cycle of abuse before it spirals out of control.
You really feel unheard in that moment when you, indeed, are… You are not issued permission to share. You are not a great opinion that differs out of theirs. You see, if you hang on to your point of view, there is a price in this interaction with a great emotional abuser.
Part of how they deal with their personal vulnerability is to make you wrong in order for them to be best suited. As you know, from where these stand, they must be best suited. So, don’t confuse these individuals with the facts.
What psychological and mental abusers are really telling you can be that there is no room for your reality in a discussion with them. Embracing your point of view is beyond them. The simple truth is, your perspective doesn’t justify their consideration, because they formerly made up their mind and they really don’t want you to mistake them with your facts.